It is clear in my role as a psychotherapist, that a big aspect of my work is to guide my clients on a journey back home to themselves. To reacquaint people to themselves as they have lost this intimate connection somewhere along their way, whether through trauma, poor attachment, wounding interpersonal relationships, and/or the normal struggles of life.
In our modern world, many of us struggle with self-acceptance and self-love. We hear about it all the time, social media is plastered with reminders to “love yourself!”. Friends may remind you, after a break-up, you have to love yourself first. It’s not as easy as it sounds and a simple Instagram post admonishing you to love yourself isn’t going to help you actually love yourself…
This past weekend I was fortunate enough to attend an introductory training on Internal Family Systems Therapy (IFS). It’s a style and method of psychotherapy I have immediately started applying with clients and one that feels very inspiring. I felt immediately right at home with the principles and methods. Below I hope to share some of the core insights and principles as I understand them.
Being a mom is one of the most rewarding experiences in life and one of the most challenging. From juggling the constant demands of parenting, work, household chores and relationships, us moms have a lot on our plates. With so much to do and so many competing demands, it can be super easy to put our own needs on the backburner.
I get it and I know plenty of other moms that get it too. We’ve all been there. I’m here to remind you that taking care of yourself is so crucial to your well-being AND it can actually make you a better mom. Now that’s a win-win.
Relaxation Response is the opposite of stress response. Flight, Fight, Freeze is the physiological response to a real or imagined stressor.
Conversations on Anxiety
My long time friend, inspiring Sydney based yoga teacher and creator of Emotional Release programs, Madina, recently sat down to talk anxiety with me. Here is what unfolded in our conversation.
Conversations on Rest
“Rest is about doing or not doing something with a sole purpose of relaxing and recharging. True rest is when I am least cognitively engaged.” - Madina, Yoga Teacher
I recently completed two degrees in Psychotherapy.
Both of those trainings involved a heap of self examination and enquiry, group therapy, individual therapy and practicing to be a therapist with clients. I could not help but gain insights, new understandings, changes to how I see myself and myself in the world. I hope to share some of those here.
As long as I can remember, I have been effected by the emotions and energy of the people around me. I easily become overwhelmed and need quiet time to myself. When I’m in the presence of someone who is sad, I start to feel sad as well. The same with any number of other emotions. I have high levels of empathy. Something I am only recently coming to terms with as I figure out how to manage and deal with this part of myself. Don’t get me wrong, it is a trait that can be very useful when I teach yoga and work individually with others, but it can also be difficult in daily living.
shh…don’t tell…I don’t care if you can touch your toes
It doesn’t even worry me that you can’t do headstand or hold a plank. I’m unconcerned about the shape of your dancers pose or if you’ve made any progress in the splits.
These things are external. Superficial. Besides the point really.
Restorative yoga and periods of rest throughout the day or the week can give you the mental clarity to meet your life with grace and ease. When we are relaxed, we are kinder, more patient to others and ourselves. After relaxation, life seems a little easier.
If we run around frantic all day it is inevitable that we crash at some stage. This may be the 3pm lethargy that leads to a coffee break. It may be the cold that hits hard and you can't get out of bed. It could look like the back injury that prevents you from moving much at all.
Restorative yoga and periods of rest throughout the day or the week can give you the peace to slow down. To not have to crash in order to reboot.
For us southern hemisphere folks, it’s now spring! Here in Sydney, the flowers are starting to bloom, the weather is slowly warming up. New green growth is showing up on the trees.
According to Ayurveda, the sister science of yoga, everything in the natural world is made up of a unique combination of 5 elements. Earth, water, fire, air and space (or ether).
Photo by Sissi Zhang on Unsplash
Over the next few blog posts, I'll be offering yoga tools to help relieve stress and anxiety. My passion in teaching yoga is helping others find a sense of ease and relaxation in our busy world. I personally came to yoga for the same reason. It was a refuge from the chaos of New York City and my high pressured marketing job in television. Now, I rely on a few specific postures, movements, breathing, meditations and chanting while going through particularly stressful times in my life.
This 2 hour workshop is designed to bring yoga and it's mental/physical benefits to anyone and everyone. Chair yoga is a great way to practice with a little extra support if needed. You will leave with the tools to create a practice for yourself while sitting at your desk at work, on the sofa at home or even in an airplane seat!
And time stands still again as my watch stops dead for the 15th time this month. I would love more time, extended time, drawn out for ever like a lazy Saturday afternoon in summer when the sun is hot, the flies buzz and the only movement done is between the lounge chair and the lake. I feel I'm not sure how I got here. 32, now 33!
Just as there are always two sides to every story, two faces to every coin - there are two parts to every person. There is the face we put on for the world to see; the shiny, well polished and expertly crafted variation of you. On the flip side of that coin, there is the face, whether we know it or not, that comes through while practicing yoga; the more authentic variation of you.
I know the way back now. I used to get lost for weeks, months, years, so consumed with the busyness and chaos I couldn't even breathe, let alone feel to the depths of my being. After practice - years of yoga, meditation, retreating for a few days at a time into the profound silence and peace of an ashram, a meditation centre, I started to touch that depth. I got glimpses of a place of silence inside of me that just sees life happening; watches as things arise and fall and doesn't need to respond.
First let’s tackle the term of therapy. When someone says they are seeing a therapist or are in therapy they generally mean that they are seeing someone, one to one, for sessions that involve talking about and experiencing your emotions, working through problems and getting some assistance with things that trouble you.
When you’re looking to see someone to help you, for example, manage your anxiety, or deal with the transition to motherhood, or cope with relationship difficulties, you may seek out any of these mental health professionals: